So feel free to read all my entries. The newest is
 at the top. There is pictures too, they are worth a look

Archives: December 2000 November 2000 

01-30-01. - CTR

Update - new journal entry, "The Ocean" is almost gone!

Journal - Today, I got an ultra cute thank you card from marineboy.. I had sent him one of my copies of "The Ocean" I hope he doesn't mind that I scanned it in for all you.

To my suprize I ended up seeing "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" again. My freiend Iasac eaves wanted to go see it at my strong recomendation.. But it was worth it to me! I loved seeing that movie again! It's incredible.

Also to my suprize, the fact that I took over the class yesterday, was somewhat contraversial. It's funny. Because I'm the regular teacher's assistant. And I am often late and I occasionally am late and I mess somthing up.. But she is really really thankful. But then when I finally succeded, in my opinion... It was a big contravercy.... Oh well.. hahahahaha

What else is there to say? lots I'm sure but for the life of me I just don't know. I am working on new projects by the way, so don't give up on me.

Oh, I fixed the broken link on the journal entry 2 days ago... And I just realized I didn't really explain about taking over the class. sensei had an emergency and i had to take over the class for a day. there ya go. It was interesting, because it was up to 5 classes at the same time over videoconferencing, and an assembley schedule caused those classes bell schedules to be messed up, so all the classes came and left at different times.. blah blah blah

01-01-28. - Confessional time....

Update - new journal entry

Journal - Well, I feel really ashamed of 2 things I did today: the first one, which was watching the primier of "Survior 2" is superficial... But the other one was spreading a rumor about someone!! Oh! I was so bad! How could I do such a thing.. Espically in the midst of trying to protect one of my friends from rumors anyway.. Well it was a true rumor, (a person my age got a girl pregnant) but I don't know why I said it. (I see no harm in posting on internet, because I don't say name or anything...)

Well, I'm imperfect like the rest of us... Maybe I was getting to cocky and putting myself up on a kindness pedestal.. Well, I will just have to start over fresh on my goal on being one of the nicest and loving people I know. I just hope nothing bad happens of this....

On a side note, I saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon the other day.. I absolutely loved it! Wow! I don't know what to say! it was beautiful.

I've been worried about a freind too lately. I hope that they will be OK. I guess we all need to support our friends....

hmmmmm.....

Well. I guess the moral of today, is if you don't succeed, try try again...

Or, if you do something that's bad Karma, then you will be punished by having to get up at 5:30 to do crowd control for the lover's feast tickets.

01-01-25. - who is special?

Update - new journal entry

Journal - Sorry! I realized I had forgot to upload my last journal entry so that might have been kind of confusing to everyone. And sorry I haven't been able to update this site much in ages. It's hard becasue I have so many things lately. It looks like I might be teaching the japanese class because poor atsuyo san has a difficult.

I made this picture for shoko today, because we were talking about it. But then my mom threatend that she would get really mad if I didn't posted it on the web. I feel guilty because it was supossed to be special for shoko.

01-21-01. - I want a theremin really bad, but I can't afford it....

Update - new journal entry

Journal - catch up-suru

Lately whenever I have been meaning to do a journal update or something, then Shoko comes online and we chat. I hope that doesn't turn her into a villian. Because she is my best friend and all. We would just talk on the phone normally, but It is too expensive for me to afford. I plan to go up to visit her this march. I'm very excited with that. Me and ryan are gonna go up there on a road trip.

I also am buisy trying to pull myself together about the movie. There is alot still to get done before i can film it. It's so scary to try to write music for it! Aaak! Sometimes I feel so un-talented, espically after listening to bjork and watching Dr. Who.

Today, Ryan and dustin finished getting the stove in the shed working and safe. can you see the potter's wheel in the background? I'm very excited to have a go at it. But I am kind of ashamed I don't already know how to throw a pot. His really cool Idea is that the wall behind the stove, which had to have concrete board put up for fire safety. So his cool Idea is to have abig collaborative project that anyone can make tiles for it. But anyway, the stove works great.

I watched little man tate the other day, it's always a sad movie for me to watch, because I never had any friends in elementary school. Everyone hated me, actually. just for no reason. But I'm not a genious like he was.

I'm not a sad person though, in fact I'm exactly as not sad as you can get... At least in my opinion. Being hated in elementary school helped me realize how to be myself and not just be some preppie trend-watcher. I had a great time in high school, everyone got sucked into snotty little exclusive cliques, which is sad. But I never joined one. I was just me. I was friends with preppies goths nerds and all the little cliques. But I realized that the whole clique mentality is pretty pathetic. We are all just normal people.

Yes, we are all normal people.. Even her. ---->

Aaaah, there so many thing and so little thing I want to talk about!!! Such as: SHOKO, the thremmin, expiremental musical instruments, evelyn glennie, chindogu, japanese engrish, smashing pumpkins... uumm, there is always more.

Oh, I give up,

good night

(Happily yours, MAFU)

01-01-017. - Excuses excuses

Update - new journal entry

Journal - I have been super ultra amazingly buisy... It was the end of term and that is always a big buisy thing, I'm almost through with that ordeal for the moment.... I cut my hair.

That was on saturday.. Then right after that I had to head off to my cousin's wedding... It was a nice time. There was no point in trying to talk to her because it was so buisy.... But I met her boss and her boss's best friend at the reception afterwords!! It was a really great thing. Haven't you ever met a person who have just had an instant repore with? Well I met 2 of those people last night! It was a good thing. They even let me take their picture with them!

After the wedding, my parents decided that they would take me and my sister and her boyfriend to this ultra snooty fancy expensive restruant. I was really shocked because most of the things on the menu were like phesant ravioli and elk medallions and wierd things. I felt really morally wrong for eating at such a fancy place, but I decided to just chill about it as not to hurt anyone's feelings.

But as we were sitting in the fancy schmancy restraunt waiting for my dinner, we got bored and started telling stories and I unfortunately was taking a sip of water right as my sister was telling about her pet frog with one leg. It's a really funny story, and I laughed, but accidently spit water all over the fancy schmancy table. It was really funny. I was lucky nobody that worked there noticed.

Here's a pciture of AlePaz... She's my long lost e-friend.. But now we aren't long lost anymore. And she sent me this picture on ICQ last night. She plays bass in 3 bands and she told me she'll send me a CD so I can hear! :) Well, actually added in the cat, cuz isn't she a cattish kind of a person in a good way...? I'm not sure how to explain.

Well sorry about the lack of updates lately, I'm gonna work on new stuff as much as I can.

see ya

01-01-06. - SHOKO

Update - new journal entry

Journal - It may seem like I have been a little disfunctional on my website, but I have to have a regular job like the rest of us, and I have been sending out all the little copies of the ocean. I have given away more than 20 so far locally and about another 17 online. So I have been really buisy with work and mail lately. But everyone can expect their copy pretty soon, except that if you live far away that might take a while. The funny thing is that I haven't sent a single one to japan so far, how crazy is that. Yet I had 2 requests from italians.. Well, that's cool.

Well, I should be attending to more things online soon, I hope. I really want to put a page up about the movie I am making.

Oh I found my long lost best friend, shoko eimon, again. (Okay not so long lost) it was really a lot of stupidity on my part that made us lose eachother. So I am very tempted to head up to oregon to see her, I would also have the chance to check out Ian lyman and the sensualists and Audiodregs while I was there.

Well it's late sorry. bye

01-01-06. - Saturday night

Update - new journal entry - "The Ocean" is printed and being sent out

Journal - Needless to say, I got the "The ocean" back from the printers. They were very nice people and did a great job very quicky. I was very happy. I was also very happy because I found my long lost best friend Shoko Eimon. It was really only my stupidity that kept us apart, and some mistake on part of the phone company. I am really temped to spend the money and go up to oregon and visit her. I hope I can!

I spent alot of the day folding and cutting "The Ocean." Each one has to be cut a slit in the middle and then folded in a special way to make it into a little book. Then I made all the envelopes.

Well, I have to get up really early tomorrow so I am going straight to bed because it's 11:00 here and it is a long day tomorrow. I love my church activities, but I have so many things, early morning classes, service, meetings, etc... Sometimes sunday doesn't turn out to be a day of rest after all. But I love the classes, and I love the church's many truth, so I will now go to bed to sleep in preperation of tomorrow.

Oh, here is a little self portrait I did today, I did it for this website that wanted a profile of me or something, but I think they were all messed up on their end so I gave up on them.

I also just want to throw in another note of how happy I am about finding shoko again! I have know her for so long! She came to my house one year as just another exchange student, and she left as a dear friend. We have seen eachother sence. How kind she is that she would be dear soulmates with someone younger than her self. She had to meet meet me in my bratty early teens, and she still could be my friend! Well I don't know what to say, but I owe it to her, and I owe it to myself to go to oregon..... Maybe I could go on a big road trip up there and meet the sensualists and all the cool people up at audiodregs.

good night then, ~Mafu!

01-01-06. - Busy rish - part 2

Update - new journal entry

Journal - Today was a really buisy one. Tomorrow is the end of term, so I have had to spend almost all of my free time devoted to finishing up the grades. I wish I could spend all my time on this website and stuff, but I am still having to save up my money and have a real job like the rest of us. Actually I am suprized that I managed to even get this journal done.

I'm debating wether or not to write people's e-mail back or not tonight or leave it til tomorrow. I want to reply quickly, but I also want to devote to each person the time and energy to write them a good e-mail. It's suprizing to me, because I have always been this boy without much e-mail in his inbox. I suposse this free thing and my writing other people alot has contributed to more e-mail. Well, I love it! It makes me happy to communicate with other people. I think it's sad when people treat their inbox as a big burden. It's not like I get a dozen a day or anything. If I ever got caught up in the trappings of something like that, I hope someone out there would shock me back into love and reality. Even if in an extreme case to throw me into the sea as shock therapy.

Also, the big clincher that made today so buisy is that we had guests come over today, so we talked and went out to dinner. It was my mom's old friends, but I love them all. They are great people.

Well I have an early day tomorrow, I have to finish all the grades and tomorrow is also the first day that atsuyo will be gone helping her husband, so it looks very interesting. So I am just going to upload this and go to bed.

P.S. Today I saw a tv show about people with obsessive coumpolsive disorder. One man wanted to be a philosophy professor, but his fear of contamonating others lead him to lock himself in his bathroom for 2 years.

I'm really lucky to have been able to be born without obsessive compulsive disorder, or any other kind disorder. I remember when I was finishing my seinor year in high school. I had a part time job, college level japanese course, AP Calclulus test, AP art portfolio, as well as all my other classes. I also had alot of music things going on, private lessons. Composing and arranging my own music for my own end of the year recital. Well anyway, I got a little wierd for a while due to all the stress that I had. Nothing like a serious disorder. I guess it all leads me back to atsuyo who I guess has been the focus of alot of my sympathy lately. How can she handle this situation that is far beyond the worst I have ever had? Usually her day to day life used to be pretty tough anyway, way worse than anything else I have ever had.

Well, I should take myslef off this big Mr. Sympathetic pedestal, let atsuyo's personal life be a little bit more personal, and just go to bed.

01-01-03. - Buisy rush

Update - new journal entry

Journal - Well, today was my first day back at work (other than private tutoring) and it went well enough. Yesterday turned out so buisy. I ended up driving driving driving the car all over the place. It just took up the whole night of driving. I just didn't seem to get anywhere. it was alot of wild goose chacing.

Poor atsuyo san, I caught her yawning once today and she admitted to me that she only got about an hour of sleep last night. (she is caring for her ill husband all night) She has this magic ability of being able to function without much sleep, but it did show through a little today. Oh, I wish I could help her more. At least I help her as much as I can by doing most of her grading for her. (I'm not good enough at japanese to grade the advanced stuff yet, I can understand it, and I could easily pass the course, but grading it is another matter.)

She is taking 3 days off to take care of her husband now that he is back from the hospital. that's actually she doesn't work until a week from friday because of how her schedule works.

Anyway, I doubt she will get any more sleep tonight.... She is such a tough little girl. I'm not sure how old she is, i'm pretty sure over 40, every once in a while it's interesting to see her childlike side pop through. It's very intersting and sacred to me to get to know a person that well, and in a way I don't know her even all that well.

Today waas pretty buisy too, I was suprized to see my inbox with quite a few more e-mails than usual. I love all the tender people out there. That they would have the charity to be nice to me, i'm just this little 18 year old. Thank you for being nice! I guess inside I'm a very sappy person. All love and peace and I just love people in general. I'm lucky boy!

I kind of wish that I could spend all my time devoted to making cool stuff on this website, but I think having real jobs and real friends and real family, real, borring, normal as anyone else. well maybe not normal. Maybe that real job and everything balances me? Besides If I do to much it's too much for people to keep up with. okay the end for today.

P.S. "The Ocean" is not back from the printers yet, but it should be done any day now and as soon as I get it I will send it out to you all.

01-01-01. - I didn't realize the date was 01/01/01 today, how cool...?

Update - New Animation, new journal entry

Journal - Lately itt has been really foggy and lots of rime ice around. It's a cold kind of fog, like it's already frozen in the air. The weather is beautiful, I took a bunch of close up photograph of the rime ice because it was such an uncommon thing.

This morning I woke up, after I took the photos, I worked on cleaning up around the house. I worked on the animation, hung out at ryans for a while and now it's late at night and I am trying to get this update online and finished so I can get some sleep!

Don't forget to order your free copy of "The Ocean" It is my present to you, why would you want to reject someone's gift? P.S. they come back from the printers tomorrow, and I'm very excited to see them all offset print and everything.

Pictures of today, the beautiful gloom is what inspired my new animation.