M A F U

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december 22, 1998
- anti-communication -


I had a nightmare last night. It very much upset me because it is the first time in a LONG time - years that I have had a real nightmare, not just the occasional bland little bad dream that everyone gets. It was actually really short. I like to think that it is because I have been training myself in my sleep for the last 6 or so years... Sense I was just really young. Either way it was very short and intense and I managed to use what I call a "doorway" or an "Escape key" or method or
something like that. For me, dreaming is just as real as awaken-ness is for all these common men around me. So I train myself to dream and enjoy my dreams.
      Today a person - a known compulsive liar told me a whopper of a lie and an inappropriate question. I knew she wasn't telling me the truth, but it took me the whole day to get over it. That is what I call anti-communication today. It is just so awful.. It really hurts... When all these people attack my culture. Maybe it is different.. But -sigh- it hurts so much when people just don't understand you so they attack you and label you... It's luckily not as bad as I make it
sound.. I am a rebel and I am destined for this sometimes.... Today was a hard one for me, yes.. It's okay... I think I will get up early tomorrow morning and freeze it out of me... It's extra cold
here. rrrrrr...
      I am trying to remember the other anti-communication thing that happened today... I don't know. But yes - again. I think there is something wrong with this day for me... Is it broken?  Sometimes I feel really depressed about my sister - like she hates me... But I think... I think it is her not me... This is really weird but she just seems, so hurtful.... And Maybe I shouldn't listen to liars so much. She ( the liar ) could tell I was feeling crappy and she sussed it out that I was feeling sad about my sister and she made up the lie about it that way... Yes that is true. It sounds like I am really fooling myself, but I really know that this person is by far the least truthful person I know. I feel to sensitive at this moment now. 
      On a lighter note I learned the most interesting thing today! All Icelanders use ` instead of ' when they type words like aardvark's (aardvark`s) isn't that amazing! Also, I have been very happy about the Anti-Björk site's warm reception, my favorite being a compliment on |next|

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